Preparing to be a Bride
Sumayyah Meehan talks to Muslimaat who are getting ready
for marriage about their preparations
One of the most daunting steps a woman can take is to
enter into marriage. It can be a scary yet exhilarating experience all at the
same time. Most brides-to-be have no idea how to prepare for their wedding day,
as they get ready to take the plunge into matrimonial bliss.
The path they must travel is like an obstacle course
full of tire rings, sand traps, and pitfalls. Nonetheless, with clear intentions
and trust in Allah Almighty, any bride-to-be can leap, dive and roll right into
a happy married life without breaking a sweat or even a nail!
Making the Decision
Coming to the conclusion that you are ready to get
married is very scary. You’re giving up the life you have always known and
agreeing to share the rest of it with someone you barely know. The most crucial
step for soon-to-be brides and their parents is to find the right match. The
groom-to-be should be a like-minded individual and share similar (if not
greater) Islamic values. “Marriage is the biggest change you can make in your
life,” says Faiza Khan who is a Pakistani student and is betrothed to be married
in the summer of 2008. “You have to make sure that you are prepared,” she
advises. The last thing you need is to rush into marriage without having the
knowledge you need to succeed. Find out everything you can about the intended
groom beforehand. Ask questions and don’t skimp when it comes to measuring your
compatibility. “Be ready and do so in faith and consciousness,” recommends
Francinette Guitanga who is a consultant from Mozambique and is engaged to be
married next summer, “trust in Allah to give you the right spouse.”
Support System
The support of family friends is crucial for any
bride-to-be. Getting married is like sailing in uncharted waters. You never know
if you will hit a ‘rock’ or enjoy smooth sailing all the way. Having a support
network can go a long way in helping the bride-to-be feel protected enough to
take the first step into her new life with her husband. “My friends hate the
fact that I am moving to America after I get married,” says Raghda Ibrahim
Barakat who is an Egyptian Muslimah and engaged student planning to marry this
coming August. “It’s a huge step to leave my country, my family and my friends,
but I feel that my fiancé is worth it. I only ask Allah to support us.”
But even Raghda knows that despite the physical separation from her family and
friends she will still be able to receive support via phone calls and Internet
communications.
The Preparations
Wedding preparations are without a doubt the most
stressful part for both brides-to-be and their families. Selecting the venue,
deciding on a menu, and let’s not forget about finding the perfect dress are
just a few decisions that can turn even the most confident Muslimah into a
bundle of nerves. “When you take on too much in the wedding preparations,” says
Bohumila Sebkova who is a student and engaged Muslimah from the Czech Republic,
“you are bound to make mistakes.” Bohumila, who is set to marry this coming
July, recommends keeping the wedding simple so that it will be pleasing to you
and your family rather than an attempt to please the guests.
Trying to reach a compromise with parents, in regards to wedding details, can
also be an unwanted headache for brides-to-be. “I want an Islamic marriage,”
laments Raghda. “My parents are not very religious,” she offers, “I agreed to
some compromises with them but I insist that there be no music or dancing
whatsoever.” It is important to follow the Sunnah of Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) when getting married
by enjoining the good and forbidding the evil.
Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
"If one of you sees something wrong, let him change it with his hand; if he
cannot, then with his tongue; if he cannot, then with his heart and this is the
weakest faith."
So lay all your cards on the table when negotiating the wedding preparations
with your parents. Stick to your guns and gently remind them that your wedding
is your day and it should be done your way!
Following Through
Once you are finally married, and literally have your
husband in hand, it is essential to be a present partner in your marriage to
help make it work. “If you enter into marriage with the intention of pleasing
Allah, then I think you have a good shot at preserving your marriage,” says
Faiza. She also says not to have too many high expectations as you begin your
married life together with your spouse. This way you will not set yourself up to
be disappointed. “You can never really know if your husband will meet every
expectation until you get to know him better,” says Faiza. Raghda agrees that
seeking Allah’s pleasure is the key to a successful marriage. “Stay away from
what Allah hates and do what Allah loves,” she says, “With Allah’s pleasure
everything is blessed and works out fine!”
Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran: “O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who
created you from a single person, and from him He created his wife, and from
them both He created many men and women, and fear Allah through Whom you demand
your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of ) the wombs (kinship)
Surely, Allah is Ever an All-Watcher over you).’ (Al-Nisaa’ 4:1)
To all the Muslimahs who are engaged and planning to marry, don’t get lost in
all the tiny details of your wedding. The type of cake you serve or which
decorations you choose will not matter in the long run. What matters most is
marrying a man who will walk through this life as your partner in Islam and will
help you on the journey out of this World and into the next! Insha Allah!
This lovely
article was graciously donated to
MeetMuslimSingles.com
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